This Christmas has been a special one for me for sure. Of course they are always special when you have your family around you and get to spend Christmas morning with your kids, but this year has been unique for me with the arrival of Christopher. The shock of his gender was a crazy this to get used to, but I know that him being a boy is no mistake for sure. I'm sure the many reasons will manifest themselves in years to come, but for right now it is just offering me a powerful reminder of the meaning of Christmas. I have so enjoyed the (rare) quiet nights in our house when all the kids are sleeping when I could just sit in the living room by the light of the Christmas tree, holding my newborn infant son and contemplating Mary's feelings of holding her newborn infant son on the first Christmas. Thinking about his place in our family and what his life will bring and how much I love him and wondering of the sacrifice that His mother would be making some day. Did she know what his life would be like as she held him in her arms? Possibly knowing how his life would end and hoping his short life would not go by so fast, just as our own children's lives fly by before our eyes? Did she hold him tight hoping to make time stand still and just enjoy those quiet moments? I can't imagine having to suffer any of my children to the fate she had to, she is a far better woman than I will ever be. I hope I never forget these feelings as I will never have a Christmas like this again.
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My little Christmas miracle, in the stocking he came to me in the hospital in, under the Christmas tree.
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| My sweet little Christmas baby |
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